Relationships are always a complex thing. You think you are doing everything that you can do to make your other half happy, yet your relationship still seems like it is missing something. You have tried the overblown romantic gestures, the mind blowing sex and lavishing all of your attention and energy on the relationship and it still hasn’t fixed what you think might be wrong. What do you do? You think you have tried everything, but what your relationship missing isn’t the big acts of attention. Read on for a list of things to try if you think your relationship is missing that little something.
Whilst mind blowing sex is a great plus in any romantic relationship, it’s not the type of physical contact we are on about. Your partner, never mind whether they are male/female will always be happier if you make an effort to hug and kiss them more often. Whilst these small acts of kindness seem like something they might forget five minutes later, the act of you hugging and kissing them regularly and spontaneously makes people feel better about themselves and more confident. More confidence equals better self esteem and when people are feeling happy about themselves, the happiness radiates off of them. Happy people make those around them happier and you can make your other half happier with a few simple hugs every day. It’s a little thing that people sometimes forget in the age of computers and televisions, human contact is almost forgotten.
In addition to being there to provide physical contact, letting your partner know that you are there for them as a shoulder to cry on, to bounce their ideas off of and to share their happiness means that your partner will become happier and more content. When you are available both physically and emotionally, your partner will feel much closer to you and trust you more. Relationships should be built on a rock solid foundation of communication and mutual admiration. If your affection comes in big chunks, try to spread it out. Being there for someone all the time is better than throwing them the occasional party.
Share Things With Your Partner
Whilst this one is a little bit reductive, it can be very upsetting when your partner is often upset or sad. You might believe it’s the result of one of your actions or worse. Your partner will usually try to cheer you up and you should thank them for their efforts. If you are physically and emotionally available to your partner, they will be the same to you. This lets you share your troubles with your partner. Talking about things can really help, even if your partner has nothing to say. They say a problem shared is a problem halved and whilst we don’t quite believe that entirely, it does help when you can talk about something without fear. If you have a problem at work or with one of your friends, talk to your partner about it. They might be powerless to actually help you but a fresh pair of eyes is usually enough to figure out a way of fixing your problems.
Ask Them If They Perceive Any Problem.
Since time immemorial, humans have existed inside their heads, with little regard for what is actually happening around them. This means that whilst you might think there’s something missing from your relationship, your significant other thinks it’s great. Your perception can get skewed when you only see the relationship from one side and having another person just to ask “Why do you think that?” can make all the difference. You might find that actually, the relationship is great and you are so used to being in bad relationships that something must be wrong and needs attending to. It’s quite possible that your relationship is absolutely great for your partner and you are the only one worrying about what is “wrong”.
The only way you will ever find the answer to this question is by asking your partner how they think about the relationship. Two answers will come from this question.
The first will be the simple answer of “I don’t see anything wrong?” This allows you to focus your efforts on enjoying the company of your partner and have a little more fun day to day, rather than worrying about whether or not something is missing from the relationship. The other answer is “Well, there is this one thing.” This way, you figure out exactly what the problem is and can nip it in the bud before it spirals out of control. Sometimes the smallest thing can throw off the whole relationship and could be fixed with a frank conversation.
Being passive aggressive toward your partner until things improve has a 0% success rate. Whilst you might think that you are displaying your feelings on your sleeve for all to see, the abstraction of aggression can make it difficult for your partner to decide what to do. In this case, they might not even bother, letting you stew in rage. If you don’t let them know that it’s okay to ask you how you feel and it’s not pestering you, they are much more likely to open up and communicate with you freely.
Personal Closeness and Conversation
When you both get in from a hard day at work, you don’t always want to strike up a conversation about feelings and such. This isn’t necessarily bad, but you will eventually find out that your partner might prefer vocal conversation over watching the TV after work sometimes. Some people need to talk to those they feel close to more than others and if your partner is overly talkative, make sure you tell them your feelings about how you feel after work. If you explain to them that you don’t always feel like a complicated conversation before dinner, they are much less likely to think badly of themselves because they haven’t lived up to a phantom expectation that you actually didn’t have. Little things like this can really gnaw away at someone’s confidence in the relationship and they may be reluctant to discuss things like this as they could be seen as just being petty and acting up for the sake of it.
As we always say, personal closeness and honest communication go hand in hand to form a great relationship. Keeping these tips in mind next time you think something has gone wrong in your relationship will keep you in good stead for the rest of both of your lives.
Do you have any great tips to share with us?